How fluid is sexuality? This is a question I often hear both from clients and from my peers. In my upcoming book, I argue that much of sexuality is either inborn, or influenced by innate factors. However, that doesn’t mean sexual expression is fixed or static. After all, as we all have heard, much of human behavior comes down to a mix of “nature” vs “nurture.” Rather, even the fluidity itself I believe is influenced by as many genetic as social factors. Let me explain further.

There is an expression I like to use– you can have ten different people in a room engaging in the same exact behavior, but for ten different reasons. Where we often go awry is making judgments or conclusions based solely on external markers, in this case behaviors. But, as I’ve written about before, when it comes to sexuality, it’s all about intent. And we have no idea what that intent really is comprised of without having a greater understanding of the inner workings of that particular individual’s mind.

Let’s take same-sex behavior as an example. Psychiatrist Fritz Klein created what is called the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, which divides orientation into seven distinct categories– Attraction, Behavior, Fantasies, Emotional Preference, Social Preference, Lifestyle, and Self-Identification. Those are a lot of categories! In other words, according to Klein, someone, let’s say in this case a man, may have a sexual attraction to a man, but only feel an emotional preference for women. Or that man may find a deep emotional connection with other men, but not find any desire for sexual interaction. […]