Note: This article and subsequent articles about various aspects of power dynamics and kink within relationships is not meant as specific suggestions or clinical advice and is only meant as a psychological examination of diverse sexual behaviors.
In an earlier article, I talked about the psychologist Donald Mosher’s three types of sex– trance, role-play and partner engagement. In this article, I want to take a much closer look at the psychological aspects of the second category, role-play.
It is first important to understand what is meant by the term “role.” According to the dictionary definition, a role is a “characteristic and expected social behavior of an individual.” I think the key ideas here are that roles are implicitly social in context and are based on agreed-upon (social) expectations. Roles come in many guises. We all have interpersonal roles– such as mother, father, child, brother, sister, etc. We have work roles– supervisor, apprentice, etc. And we have many other contextual roles– breadwinner, caretaker, jokester, black sheep, villain and so on. The more roles we have, the more we can feel boxed in, living up to a multitude of social expectations. Often, we may find ourselves in a multitude of roles– father, brother, son, husband, breadwinner, boss, entrepreneur, and so on. Every single role foisted upon us (or that which we willingly take on) add another wall to our sense of possibilities and freedom.
Someone, for example, who is a a mother who also has a very demanding corporate job and is the breadwinner for the family would probably find it much more difficult to behave with a sense […]